No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
