I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
this will be a night to untag.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
