We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
