He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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