Are we in a gay sports bar?
I looked at my own cervix.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
