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• (313): View more from Michigan

  At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Knowing your life, probably not.

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else

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• (705): View more from Ontario

  I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.

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• (806): View more from Texas

  That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.

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• (313): View more from Michigan

  Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"

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• (206): View more from Washington

  Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.

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• (906): View more from Michigan

  I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change

  (303): View more from Colorado

  well did he get it

  (602): View more from Arizona

  ....yes

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• (505): View more from New Mexico

  She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.

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• (714): View more from California

  I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!

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