D3 body, D1 cock
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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