Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
