so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
