so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
barbara walters just said penis...
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
