and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
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