OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
