i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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