I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
