oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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