WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
