Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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