So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
