Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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