New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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