well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
