i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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