So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
