I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
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