i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
