Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
