ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
