similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
