so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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