I think I am morally bankrupt
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
