yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
