yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
