So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
