I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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