A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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