OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Randomize
