Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up�
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
