Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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