i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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