Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
