is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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