Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Also, beer. Big fan.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Randomize
