I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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