do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
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