I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
