The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
