yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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