you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
