wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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