I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
